You want to be a better conscious communicator. Sure, who doesn’t? But where to start…
Don’t start over-thinking the details like…
Does it matter who I’m talking to or what it’s about? I mean when I talk to my Great Aunt Sally things are fine up until she asks me if I have a special man in my life. Then I just shut down and get pissed off because she just doesn’t let up!
Shut it down girlfriend!!!! We ain’t got time for dat.
Communication is happening all the time and with everyone you come across in 2D and 3D. And it really doesn’t matter who you are talking to; family, friends, colleagues, etc. Conscious Communication is easily practiced with anybody, even Sam the guy at the bodega who is always sweeping the sidewalk on Tuesday evenings.
Before we get into the nitty gritty of how, let’s start with the foundation. Communication is composed of three parts; the words we choose to say, the way we choose to say the words (our inflection, tones, etc), and body language.
Now that you can see how everything you do, or don’t do, contributes to what you are communicating, let’s agree that it’s happening all the time whether you are conscious of it or not.
Deal? Deal (I answered for you to save time).
This consciousness of your contribution only goes so far if you don’t have the tools to maximize it. Because, let’s face it, sometimes it’s more challenging than others to fully stand up for yourself.
An easy trick to supercharge your confidence for those sticky situations is to use a power pose. Stand with your feet flat on the ground about a shoulder’s width apart. Put your hands on your hips, shoulders back, and head held high. Hold this pose for a solid two minutes without moving.
This pose reduces cortisol and increases testosterone within the body. These chemical reactions, as well as the physical posture that requires you to take up more space, evoke feelings of power and confidence. Both of which make it hella easier to communicate effectively because you believe in your ability to do so.
Now that you are all fired up, ready to kick ass and take names, use the following 6 steps within any conversation:
1. Say what you mean and mean what you say
2. Allow yourself to feel anger without judging yourself for being angry, while also not acting on this feeling
3. Do not interrupt others when they are talking
4. Validate all of their feelings
5. Be receptive to trying something new; stay open and resist the urge to shut down or deflect
When all else fails…get out old trusty…the Golden Rule. There is a reason it’s made of gold. It’s long-lasting and extremely valuable.
In short, conscious communication requires your ability to be aware of yourself prior to, during, and after the conversation. It mindfully observes the thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that arise during the talk without reacting to any attacks, perceived or otherwise. And most importantly, being a conscious communicator requires complete commitment from you to show up as yourself, honestly.
[bctt tweet=”It isn’t about the results of the convo, it’s about the effort that goes into it.” username=””]Now that you know how it works, get out there and give it a go. And remember, practice makes perfect. 😉
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