You Want to Be a Better Communicator? Cut the Fluff.

Let’s be honest, everyone wants to be a “better communicator.” It’s a nice little bullet point for your LinkedIn profile. But the truth is, most people just want to stop having those awkward conversations that make them want to crawl under a rock and stay there.

Like when you’re talking to your Great Aunt Sally, and everything’s fine until she asks, “Do you have a special man in your life yet?” Suddenly, your inner monologue goes from zero to a thousand, and you just shut down. You’re pissed off because she just won’t let it go. And we both know it’s not just Aunt Sally. It’s that one coworker who can’t take a hint, or a client who keeps pushing boundaries.

We don’t have time for that nonsense. So let’s talk about conscious communication—the secret sauce for getting through to people without losing your mind.

The first thing to understand? It’s not about them; it’s about you. Communication is a three-part dance:

• The words you choose.
• The way you say them (tone, inflection, etc.).
• Your body language (the silent megaphone).

Once you accept that every single thing you do—or don’t do—is communicating something, you’ll realize it’s happening all the time. Conscious or not.

Deal? Deal. (I answered for you. Saved us both some time.)

Being aware of your communication habits is only half the battle. The other half is having the right tools to navigate the tough stuff. Because let’s face it, standing up for yourself can feel like trying to run through a pool of molasses.

Here’s an old trick that works like a charm: the power pose. I’m talking hands on your hips, feet shoulder-width apart, shoulders back, and head held high. Hold it for two minutes. I know, you’ll feel ridiculous, but trust me. This simple act reduces your cortisol (the stress hormone) and boosts your testosterone (the confidence hormone). You literally feel more powerful, and that makes it a hell of a lot easier to communicate what you need to.

Now that you’re ready to kick ass and take names, here are six rules for any conversation, whether you’re dealing with a difficult client or your know-it-all colleague:

1. Say what you mean and mean what you say. No dancing around the issue.
2. Allow yourself to feel your feelings without acting on them. Anger is an emotion, not a call to action.
3. Do not interrupt. You’ve got two ears and one mouth for a reason.
4. Listen to understand, not just to reply. You can’t solve a problem you don’t fully comprehend.
5. Stay open. Don’t deflect or shut down just because you don’t like what you’re hearing.
6. When all else fails, use the Golden Rule. There’s a reason it’s made of gold. It’s a classic for a reason.

Ultimately, conscious communication isn’t about the outcome of the conversation. It’s about your ability to show up as your honest, authentic self, fully aware of your thoughts and feelings before, during, and after the conversation. It’s about showing up with a plan and the confidence to stick to it.

The more you practice, the easier it gets. Now get out there and give it a go.

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